Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
