my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
