theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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