we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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