Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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