Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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