Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize