I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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