Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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