I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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