We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
