Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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