hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
