Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
