FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
