There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
my liver is dry heaving
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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