that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
