i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Everclear isn't food dammit
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
