Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
