how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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