Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
