i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
