i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
