he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
