I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
