Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
