Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
