If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
