speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
