It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
