You really coming over, don't trick.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
