Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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