ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
