His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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