New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
