he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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