cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
