A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
