Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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