he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
