Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ttyl tear gas
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
