do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
