This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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