Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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