im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
