Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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