someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
