I just made out with a guy for $7.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
