If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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