Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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  (586): you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e12h
  Replies (38) Good night (831) Bad night (6585)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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  (813): Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida http://tfl.nu/bfwv
  Replies (30) Good night (3638) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.

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  (505): He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself. http://tfl.nu/msa0
  Replies (11) Good night (5327) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

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  (215): How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers? http://tfl.nu/g3e9
  Replies (44) Good night (7142) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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  (703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm
  Replies (8) Good night (4253) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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  (251): I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts. (478): Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions. http://tfl.nu/kp4v
  Replies (13) Good night (2897) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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  (360): Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery http://tfl.nu/djsi
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

  (350): View more from

  You are my idol.

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  (458): I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation. (350): You are my idol. http://tfl.nu/xq85
  Replies (21) Good night (3370) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.

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  (717): And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/hx7l
  Replies (10) Good night (816) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident

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  (610): Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident http://tfl.nu/o3n7
  Replies (8) Good night (504) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.

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  (775): That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed. http://tfl.nu/y3pb
  Replies (9) Good night (292) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1133) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

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  (315): EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS http://tfl.nu/jrog
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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  (412): its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game. http://tfl.nu/gy0r
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.

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  (310): Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite. http://tfl.nu/rdiv
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (214)

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