I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
