Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.

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  (313) 1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head. http://tfl.nu/u795
  Replies (0) Good night (1604) Bad night (689)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??

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  (905): I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet?? http://tfl.nu/qgms
  Replies (145) Good night (2317) Bad night (8479)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

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  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9404) Bad night (1209)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (2954)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout

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  (612): So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout http://tfl.nu/u300
  Replies (6) Good night (2531) Bad night (1049)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.

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  (734): Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable. http://tfl.nu/e8ez
  Replies (7) Good night (4828) Bad night (999)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes

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  (208): the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes http://tfl.nu/a563
  Replies (18) Good night (3396) Bad night (1532)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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  (254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1705) Bad night (934)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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  (217): So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world. http://tfl.nu/kbv9
  Replies (18) Good night (2381) Bad night (1547)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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  (504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1781) Bad night (746)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.

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  (701): She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv. http://tfl.nu/rbou
  Replies (8) Good night (1789) Bad night (581)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked

  (1+66): View more from

  oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you

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  (+66): i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked (1+66): oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you http://tfl.nu/vprd
  Replies (0) Good night (860) Bad night (199)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior. 

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  (501): I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.  http://tfl.nu/bx8n
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (696)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (288)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.

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  (413): I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance. http://tfl.nu/vfeh
  Replies (3) Good night (271) Bad night (409)

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