Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If that was your dad, he is hot

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  (843): If that was your dad, he is hot http://tfl.nu/drkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1181) Bad night (681)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...

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  (289): She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you... http://tfl.nu/ajee
  Replies (7) Good night (1166) Bad night (3602)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.

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  (403): I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants. http://tfl.nu/wgp8
  Replies (17) Good night (1776) Bad night (3920)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.

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  (774): i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub. http://tfl.nu/0yor
  Replies (10) Good night (1280) Bad night (2370)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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  (601): She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs. http://tfl.nu/rhuf
  Replies (9) Good night (3809) Bad night (878)
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  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (1210)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..

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  (503): I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation.. http://tfl.nu/9q0x
  Replies (18) Good night (1858) Bad night (772)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Oh god. Standing was a rash decision

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...

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  (914): Oh god. Standing was a rash decision (847): I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes... http://tfl.nu/8xp2
  Replies (1) Good night (1517) Bad night (614)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic

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  (701): Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic http://tfl.nu/rfl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2696) Bad night (620)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same

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  (614): now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same http://tfl.nu/zf1b
  Replies (6) Good night (564) Bad night (1185)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord

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  (907): his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord http://tfl.nu/yjwk
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (721)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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  (425): The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned. http://tfl.nu/65g6
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (484)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.

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  (303): Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year. http://tfl.nu/qzma
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (443)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.

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  (731): I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn. http://tfl.nu/zsew
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (444)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO

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  (717): AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO http://tfl.nu/2gy7
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (275)

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