And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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