I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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