She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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