Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
