if you like me you must not know who I am
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
