im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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