why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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