If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
