3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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