So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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