Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
