he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
