It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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