summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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