Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
