i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
