well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
