My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
